Release: Worry into Focus

As folx who struggle with dependency issues & addictions, we know what it is like to get over-fixated.

We may get overwhelmed around a myriad of situations which are active and/or inactive in our lives. And we worry. and we may continue to worry. Many of us may have grown with lack and know what it is like to be in legit scarcity of having our basic needs met. The worry is absolutely valid and does not need to be justified when many of us may have faced home instability or homelessness, food insecurity, financial instability, homophobia, transphobia, and other forms of systemic or personal violence. (This list isn’t exclusive around what we face which triggers our worry). Although I am not here to lecture on what not to worry about, I am here to offer a reminder how an overinvestment of our energy/time to worry can actually deplete the little reserves we may have left for our focus.

This focus is the seed to potential and the sacredness within ourselves. It comes from a similar source of worry which causes us to maintain attention-however this energy is focused on building solutions and possibilities for ourselves. Some of these solutions won’t fix the entirety of our issues, since many may be systemic, and the point isn’t always to fix, but to alleviate ourselves of the constant worry without using our addictions. Worrying stems from the same energy as focusing. One of the main differences lies within the overfixation aspect that worrying produces. We may become so entangled or enmeshed that we can lose sight of the broader perspective.

Focusing has the same ability to hold onto something just as strongly, but it has the wisdom to know when to let go. When we focus we give ourselves time to pause and take breaks. It isn’t about com- pletely abandoning our worry, but remembering that offering ourselves stillness and detachment from that outside of our immediate control is necessary for long-term healing. Maybe we schedule time for feeling our worry deeply & talk it out with someone who consents to hold space, maybe we express our worry by extending care in a way that is healthy for ourselves. We do what is in our capacity & honor our limitations by giving ourselves time to focus on other things. What we focus on is what we give our power to, and it can be beneficial to invest the excess energy which arises in empowering ourselves even if in the smallest ways.

The truth is as folx who are QTBIPOC, we know all too well the constant and neverending crises and needs which exist in our communities. These situations may cause a feeling of powerlessness which can trigger our desire to numb out rather than to focus on the little & small things we are able to do to support. Sometimes, that means no support and that is okay too. Complete rest and preservation is also necessary as we transfer to a more focused mindset rather than worry. The point is to offer com- passion to ourselves and be radically honest with ourselves in the present moment.

May I extend compassion to myself around the worries I experience. May I remember that it is natural to feel concerned around the state of the world & other beings around me, including myself. May I offer myself the nourishment I need to feel brave enough to transmute my worry into focus once it is hindering my ability to grow. May I focus on the ways I can show up for myself & community authentically & in service.